XUDEJOY


Unlike most of the weekend warriors and outdoor enthusiasts who pack it in from dawn to dark and sometimes beyond, my adventuring seems to come to a screeching halt come summertime. My schedule tends to fill up with play dates and doctors appointments, trips to the library, and overseeing every sibling argument known to man. As someone who values solitude and silence, it can be challenging. Sometimes I find myself in a less than flattering frame of mind.

Yesterday, when I parked my car at the grocery store (for the third time and I'm not exaggerating), I certainly rolled my eyes and might have groaned audibly when I pulled into a spot adjacent to a car bearing the license plate "XUDEJOY."  I was not feeling joy, much less exuding it.  My third grocery stop of the day was part of my 45 minutes alone. I bought bug spray. I walked in the woods for 35 minutes of that 45 minutes and the bug spray turned out to be more of a perfume. Summer adventuring has gotten hard for me and joy has been eluding me.

As I left the grocery store and turned right toward the trailhead, I noticed the car in front of me as it went straight through the intersection. XUDEJOY. I was almost more annoyed than the first time I saw it. Yes, Universe, I hear you. My attitude sucks. But as someone who can’t find the time for trail running, whose only yoga practice is non-existent unless I’m teaching (and that’s not one’s yoga practice, as any true yogi will tell you), and who hasn’t slept outside since November, I’m jonesing for more adventure.

I went to bed last night frustrated by my frustration. It’s hard to be the person I believe I am when I’m complaining. I have a good life and I do, believe it or not, adore my children, even when they insist on having every sibling arguement known to man. They are my sunshine. It’s why I’m home with them this summer. They’re why I do what I do. Adventure, challenge, solitude, make me the best me and I want to be that for them. And for me.. So, I was tired of feeling less than myself.

This morning, I woke up and decided I could scowl and sulk or I could XUDEJOY. So I tried it. I got up early. I got up so early I saw the golden orange of the sunrise. I took DEEP breaths. Instead of getting in my car with a few minutes to spare, I took out my bike. I drank my coffee while I rode to the lake where I had the pleasure of teaching a stand up paddle board yoga class. I met my dad and we walked to the farmers market. We stopped for a bit by the lake and enjoyed the scenery. I stopped to pet dogs. I hugged old friends I ran into. I listened to quiet music. I felt the sunshine, the water, the breeze, and I NOTICED.

It was a day to XUDEJOY. I’m grateful for the reminder and I look forward to the moments and the memories as they happen, even if they don't always come as I expect it.

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